Full Time Freelance: Year 1 Recap

It’s been a while, a long while actually since I, Hussain have written a blog post. I’ve spent a lot of time on my journey away from my site other than updating the photo pages when I can.

This post is a retrospect of this past year. The beginning of last December I left my last day job and went into freelance work full time. Before I was doing both, trying to fit in times to do different gigs, personal or freelance projects. So recently having survived the first year I find it appropriate to give my perspective on things I’ve experienced, learned, pros, cons and where I’m at now moving forward.

To start off, I left my job right before leaving to Art Base in Miami and after filming promotional content for the NFL for the opening of their NFL Experience building in Times Square (Shout out to V!) I was able to get the days off for The NFL gig, but not for the trip to Miami. Ticket was already purchased and it was the first time I was on a plane since I was a child. I felt it was an important experience to have as well as for the networking opportunity. So I left. And when I came back I continued the freelance path off the momentum off the NFL project and the Art Basel experience.

As a freelancer my main gigs I would get were as a photographer, editor and Videographer as I began doing more Music Videos, mostly on my own filming and editing them.

Photography was and still is the main thing I get hired for, whether its a family portrait, studio session or event work. Around the transition from Winter into Spring I consciously have been working to transition into doing more video work, particularly Music Videos. I love photography but as many of you may know my main goal is to be a Film Director, and having more video material is ideal for me. Making that transition so far has been a clear road, but a bumpy one. Working with musicians has brought me to restructure much of how I go about business. I can’t count how many treatments and ideas I’ve had for videos only for the artist to back out for whatever reason (usually once a conversation on budget comes up) and I’ve realized I wasted so much time planning and mapping things out, getting excited only to not have anything to show for it. No money. So quickly I made different approaches when it came to acquire deposits before anything.

In retrospect, I approached things from the perspective of I’m still trying to prove myself and trying to prove to whoever my clients were that I was worthy of the opportunity. And while I felt I was I tried to put my best step forward believing it would come back to me, which was very ignorant of me to think. A lot of people suffer from terrible communication skills, myself at times fail as well. And when conducting business, especially as a freelancer where you speak with fortune 500 companies all the way to the dude on the block who is trying to do music you’ll see just how much communication is required and how often it is lacking.

Through a lot of experiences even up till the day of this post, I’ve learned not every opportunity you have to say yes to. The need to prove myself has diminished a lot, mostly because I’ve worked on giving myself more self validation, confidence and recognizing my own growth. If you don’t respect you’re talents you’ll be more accepting of bullshit. And that’s fine, it’s part of the process sometimes. And for me I got tired of going through the same situations over and over and through trial and error I became smarter and maneuvered much more efficiently.

One of the pros being a freelancer is the ability to create your own schedule. Most can identify that as the obvious plus but that kind of freedom allows you to do so much for yourself. The older I get the more I notice how hard it can be to find time to self analyze. Many don’t and I feel it’s a strong reason why around 30 some feel like they’re missing something or have issues that they’re just now facing because they didn’t tackle those issues at a earlier time. We focus so much on the dollar but not our well being, when we can’t make many dollars if we aren’t well, physically or mentally.

I have so many friends who work 2-3 jobs that they hate. I’m sure everyone has their own issues to tackle but if you have the chance please focus on your own well being, deep seeded things that trouble you. Honestly, if I wasn’t in control of my own work schedule, I’m not sure if I would be able to focus on it the way I’d like. Just remember, no matter what job you have, once you’re not here whether through death or illness they’ll replace you. You are responsible for you health and happiness. It’s power in choice so I just urge you to reclaim it as your own.

Another challenge I’ve run into this year was being organized, especially with scheduling. I’ve never been the most organized person but with being in charge of my schedule I was met with new challenges. Writing things down is way more effective for me personally than typing it in my phone. I began taking more time in prepping things for different projects. Outside of the work I do for freelance I worked on a few personal projects that hopefully you’ll see in 2019. And that was my biggest challenge in 2018. Before when I had a regular job the days of work were more straight forward and the days I can create were more easily laid out.

Freelance has mixed up those days, when it came to writing a script, editing or shooting. It was something that was very difficult for me to overcome an I am still working on being better at it. You may be filming the whole day and then you remember you had something else you have to do, so the time you have t invest in your personal projects at times were very difficult. As I continued on my path the past few months my work intake increased and the days I had set up for shooting personal projects were soon taken up by paid work and I had to take those because we all know how expensive living can be. But, I am not one for excuses and choose to find the solution to being able to juggle things more efficiently. If I have to wake up earlier to get things done sooner in the day to still be able to tackle my own projects, than that’s something I’ll have to do. It’s very easy to lean on excuses but you hold so much more power when you take responsibility, in the good times and bad. Cause if something bad happens and it wasn’t your fault but when everything goes well how can it always be because of you. That’s the ying and yang of life. Taking credit when you win is great but when you lose you have to be able to own up just as much. Excuses take the power of choice and control away from you and places it in the hands of someone else, so be careful when you place blame. It’s much more freeing when you understand that whether good or bad the choice is always yours. And if it ends in a bad outcome, life continues onward, take the experience and apply it so that you grow from it. It only becomes bad once you stay stagnant or ignorant to the issues at hand.

This past year I’ve had the chance to film for companies like Lexus, McDonalds, and The NFL. Got to collaborate with some celebrity faces and some great up and coming artists. A few people have asked me how did I get those gigs? I give the same answer; I’m just a good person to people and I’m talented at what I do. Being talented is great but to truly be the kind of person people want to be around is an invaluable skill. You think I would have gotten these calls and offers If I was a dickhead to people? If I wasn’t a team player? Is your producer stressed out from the day of filming? Be the calm center of the crew that they can lean on. I’m 6’ 5” 260+, if I see you carrying something, it’s in my nature to offer assistance. Those things go a long way. Trust me. But none of that means anything if you suck. But if you’re talented, but humble enough to be a team player, lead when needed, assist when it’s needed, that’s what will get you a long way. There’s a saying i heard recently that I felt was pretty true: You have to at least be 2 of these 3 things: On time, Skilled as hell, and a good person. If you’re late but your a good person and skilled people will work with you, if you are a dick but you’re skilled and deliver all your work on time people will work with you. If you’re all three than you will rise ot the top. It costs nothing to be good to people, and don’t do it with an ulterior motive, people can smell it on you like a bad smell. Shoutout to Vianel, Danielle, Shayna, Flisadam, Ray, Lam and anyone else who has helped me so far. People are watching you when you least expect it, just be the best version of yourself and keep moving forward.

2019 I already have planned out for my personal projects I wish to release so be on the lookout for that. For freelance things are looking great. In the hard times there still isn’t another career that excites me like filmmaking. I’m looking forward to doing more music videos, short films, commercial work, etc. One thing that is a goal of mine is to be a cinematographer for someone else’s project. I’ve only been my own cinematographer so far, so that I can learn, practice and understand more before venturing doing other Director of Photography work.

I’ll try to post more moving into the next year so look forward for more. I have so much more to even say on the topic of freelance work so I may make a follow up to this as well. Any feedback is appreciated as well

  • Hussain Al-Khalil

I've been wanting to cry lately

I've been wanting to cry lately,

You see as a kid tears ran down my eyes so frequently

People always called me a crybaby, but I wasn't soft. Me? When I got mad, like a chain being broken off a gate all my emotions would flood out at the same time.

But the older I got the harder it's been to communicate how I feel

Well see I can't even I say that, when I talk to me, things are understood, I look in the mirror I know who looks back. 

But like a vampire when YOU look in my mirror you see no reflection.

So as I'm asked how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking a zipper forms over my mouth, even my heart muffling what I say.

"I'm good" 

But who's that for? For you who I fear will judge whatever honesty comes out my mouth or for me who tries to put that energy out in hopes it actually one day I will be good.

Happiness, it's so fleeting. It's like a high, it's amazing once it's here but it is so easy for it to disappear. And we spend so much effort trying to find that same feeling, hell any feeling at all.

And now I usually sit back and watch and what I see is that people are searching just like me. For that happiness, that comfortable space to speak without being judged. One that exists outside their own mind. 

And my heart is weighed down by the tears sitting at the bottom of it that I've held in.

And I say again, sometimes I want to cry. But I don't always no why, it's just a feeling. 

As I struggle to find the space of comfort. I just pray I keep the ability to put it down on paper, in a story. In my art to cleanse my soul and for those fleeting moments, I see the Sun blessing me through the gray. 

How many times have I written about the same love? Not Enough

I had a dream about you.

But you weren't you. And I wasn't myself.

We were completely different people. But that bond. That energy.

The things that feel like a magnet attaching myself to you, still existed.

I don't believe in having a past life or a next life on this world but the thought & idea pops in my head now & then. And whenever it does, I wish to find you once again like I did.

And like a TV that dream & idea change to another, to whereever the next life takes me. Takes us.

And in it I pray that again, I am able to find you. What would it be without you. That bottomless pit of Love stored only for you. 

I should enjoy the time with you here & I will but being aware of our mortality only makes me appreciate our time together even more.

How many times have I fallen in love with you before? With your soul & your energy. 

I don't know. 

I've fallen in love with you multiple times in this life & plane of existence already.

And each time I am thankful. 

My soul lifts higher than it did on its own. Air tastes different, the thought of you relays in my mind like my favorite tv show. 

How blessed I am to be with you, life and the after life I do not know where it shall take us, but Lord willing the silver lining between our souls never gets severed and I follow the string back to you. 

The Movie List to End ALL Movie Lists

Over the years, I've mentioned countless fils to people only for them to forget, or to ramble off countless films that are too much to remember all at once. So....this page is a reference for every film I, Hussain feel you should watch, whether to be entertained or for though provoking creativity. 

There is no specific order and I started with some films you (mostly) aren't aware of. It will be updated every so often.

For now just copy and paste the titles i hopes of finding trailers online to se eif you'd like the film, many of them are on netflix. If you think I should add my personal favorites and expand on them let me know!

OldBoy (2003)

Lady Snowblood

Place Beyond the Pines

Requiem for a Dream

Pi

Only God Forgives

Drive (2011)

Newlyweeds

Fright Night (1985)

Train to Busan

It follows

The guest

Jaws

Blue Caprice

What We Do In the Shadows

Under the Shadows

A Girl Walks home alone at night

Babadook

Halloween (1978)

El Topo

Paid in Full

Love Jones

Collateral

Seven Psychopaths

American Werewolf in London

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Scarface

Carlito's Way

The Godfather 1 & II

They Live

Bad Batch

Never too busy

Always some shit to do

Whenever I think I got some time to relax I remind myself of something on my list

Something I forget

But one thing I pride to never forget is you.

You see even in my busy schedule I make sure to spend some quality time, doing nothing, with you. 

I be busy & don't make Time for friends. 

But best believe soon as I finish a gig or get out of work you the first thing I call from my line.

I be running late but my emotions always on time.

Can't get you out of my mind, you've reminded me I can shine. Constantly reminding me I can rhyme. 

Look baby, you mine. Always fine. More than a dime. 

You know your worth. And even with my thirst you wish me well like a wishing well. 

We don't kiss & tell. Business between me & you. If love was a race how could I ever lose?

I love you. Regardless of my time, or what's on my mind I promise to always find time. Locked in my heart it's hard to lose track of you. 

How blessed I must be.  

Enough?

I sit in front of the blank page. 

Ideas rushing through my head.

Moments like this got me feeling undefeated.

I sit & focus on the right idea, eyes dilate and put pen to pad.

But within 3 strokes of ink, shouts from upstairs...

HUSSAIN!!

I need you. 

& so I'm pulled from my creativity to go back to reality.

My mother limps, a smile on her face asking for my help. 

I love her, but from her I've learned a smile is the best mask to hide your pain.

My pops takes his heart medication, back in from a 10 hour shift.

I sit back downstairs, my creativity halted.

Am I doing enough? 

My phone buzzes, a friend calling asking for a favor.

Goes off again & again....and again. A text, call asking for more help.

And I look at my hands, and feel the stiffness in my back. I stand up and say ok.

Back in the lab hours later I walk back to the table only to walk past it and rest my head. 

And shame goes over my body. 

I'm not doing enough. 

And so, I rise again. I finish that script, finish that edit, go and take those pictures. 

But alone at times, my own thoughts becoming my best friends. 

And the cycle continues. 

Was this enough?

To get to the next level, my mind obsessed with the task at hand, the next move to take me where only my mind can see.

I need more time, but where do I find it.

Do I snatch it from the ones that depend on me? For them to suffer while I go into glory.

Do I dull my own light. Carry more weight onto my wings, so much so that I forget how to fly. Or that I could fly. 

All the ideas in my head & not one could give me the answers I wish for. 

Faith is something I hold dear, I tell myself it's all a test, but what if it's one I was destined to fail.

 

Huss D'Griot

Persevere

I sit in a dark corner, mind racing on my next move. 

Notebook in front of me, one light shining.

I'm surrounded. Pressures of the future & the pain of the past sit on each shoulder. 

My mind stuck like a traffic jam, too many thoughts. Keep thinking like that and you'll go crazy.

Moans & groans of pain on the first floor, my family in need.

I jump between holding back and not giving a fuck. The pain sometimes feel too much.

But I can't give up.

You see my father never stopped, his heart did once but he never quit.

My mother wears her scarf to protect her from the negative. Their pain put me in a lead for first.

Sweat & Tears ain't nothing new to me. I drag us all across the finish line, but who's there to congratulate me?

The voices in my head pat me on the back but as I open my eyes they're the only ones to touch my spirit. 

And so I sit. Alone in this corner, I open the windows to be met with the midnight sky. I pray for a better morning but I've learned prayer ain't enough. 

So I go back to my corner and look at that notebook. The traffic jam in my mind clears up. 

"Construction ahead"

Move along there ain't much to see here 

 

 

My conversation with the Death Angel

I take a break and look the sky, as it sparks.

My thoughts open through to the clouds and in them I find myself asking questions. Questions bouncing around a rim and the one that goes in and back down to me was this?

If I could talk to anyone ever who would it be?

And of all the multiple choice answers mines was the Angel of Death.

I would ask him he how comprehends the human soul. What he thinks of this world and the people of it. How he feels about his job, his reason of existence.

And as the stream of smoke cleared across my face I saw him. Right in front my face.

The Death Angel.

And I froze. Preparing for what it could be. A brain aneurism? Heart attack? The roof about to collapse on top of me? What was it that chose to take my life for him to appear.

"Let's have a chat."

He walked toward me and sat next to me on my deck stairs in the backyard. 

"You wanted to ask me about something?"

I slowly relaxed.

"How did you know," I said looking into his face. Just a shapeless shadow that covers his face. 

"I heard you. From a distance so I wanted to hear what you had to say a little more closer."

My conscience must've left my body and traveled higher than the clouds and spoke on another plane for a brief second, I must've been laced. 

"Well, what do you think of the human soul? Are we like kids, you chaperoning us back home or something?"

He chuckles.

"The human soul is powerful beyond comprehension. It's power so vast there are only two that know it's true strength. It is to be valued by the owner most important it's self owner--it's meaning of self. Sometimes it too doesn't comprehend the power it has and in turn loses its power. But some can shine bright defining divine light."

I stare at him as he sits there talking so deeply on it. Half of what he says goes right over my head, hoping that it eventually comes back.

"Well, what do you think of this world, the world these mighty souls have created?"

He sits still.

This world is amazing. Was amazing, still is, amazing. But what you must understand is what you call the ying and the yang is severely out of balance. It's a flowing line not a hardened one. Like a wave. The waves are just very strong right now one way.

It happened before and it's gonna continue to for the end of time.

"Well, you gotta constantly come to this world till the end of time. That's just ok with you? That basically is the purpose of your existence."

"Atleast I know what my purpose is in existing"

I can't see his face but if he had eyes they'd be burning a strong stare right into my eyes.

I sit silent.

"But I enjoy my job. If this is one my reason for existence than I am grateful. I've seen all of you. All of existence I've seen the best of you. What you'd consider the worst. I know more about you than you know will ever understand about yourself. Knowing that much for every person ever. That's a special existence."

Wow. This dude is pretty cool.

"What is time? To you."

"Hmmmmmm." 

A pause.

"This conversation for you, may last 5-10 minutes of your life lets say. For me, this is the length of a blink. A casual head nod to a co worker at its longest for me. It stretches and squeezes for us all. Like a slinky."

That somehow made sense to me. He checks his wrist full of clocks, all not ticking.

"You've got anything else?

"Uh, I do but it's all not coming out right now. Just, yeah."

"I understand. We'll talk again"

He stands up and turns toward me.

I say, "Hopefully not too soon."

"For another conversation, hopefully I will before it's time for you. Which if I had to say is get a nice suit in 5 years so you look good."

I stare at him in shock.

"I'm joking. Enjoy your life. There's only of them for us all."

And he walked into the shadows. 

And that what was the first time I saw the Angel of Death. 

But it wouldn't be the last before he carried me away from this existence.

My confidante

Can you be my confidante?

I go crazy talking to myself,

All I desire is for the music to be turned down, phone turned off

...and just listen. 

I'm just a young man growing into a grown man. 

You young too you swear you don't need a man.

And listen...I get it.

But I'm not trying to save you girl I respect that you have your own cape.

But I just need ears to listen. A mind and soul to show some compassion. Eyes to capture my expressions. To look into as I talk. A beautiful mind that understands.

My confidante, let you be the friend I can entrust my universe of ideas with. 

Not to be your man but for you to be my...friend, a living angel to help cleanse my mind, cause this word is awfully dirty, and my soul has to be kept clean. 

The reunion (Part 1)

*This is entry #3 of a self imposed challenge to post something everyday for 30 days straight. It's a short story written by Hussain Al-Khalil. Leave some feedback and come back daily to see what he posts for his month long challenge*

 

 

"Around the swing we go no fear,

In our family the love shall stay,

to keep the witch from here,

locked in the forest near,

We gather 'round and pray,

Keep us all safe this day"

A group of young girls play in the backyard. A Jenkins family reunion is taking place over the weekend. All of the grown siblings and their mother with there own kids.

The grown ups sit in the house together drinking. They each go upstairs into their widowed mothers room. She sits in her wheel chair on the balcony exit of her room. She sit there, still.

All of them daughters. They lay the blanket over her.

Sharon, the older. 

Brianna, the middle child.

Tracy, the youngest.

They sit with their mother, who is suffering in her elder years. 

This is the evening of her and her late husbands reunion. No men in this immediate family, the burden of life shouldered by the women. 

The mother begins to cry as Tracy and Sharon console her. 

"I'll prepare dinner", Brianna says.

Brianna calls for the little girls to come inside and than goes inside toward the kitchen.

Their mother sobs.

"I'm sorry", the Mother says.

"It's ok", Sharon says.

"No, not it's not. He's back. I've seen him. Julius."

Sharon's eyes widen.

She turns on the faucet at the sink.

Blood pours out instead. Brianna steps away in a rush.

The kids walk in, seeing the blood pouring. They scream

Tracy runs down the stairs.

"That happened a long time ago mom, you shouldn't beat yourself up for that",  Sharon says.

"And I saw him again. He told me he wanted us together. To meet with him and your father. He's the one who took him", The mother says.

"What are you saying?!"

"Your brother, he's been with me. And now he is  with us. Together."

The lights go off throughout the house. Downstairs Tracy and Brianna hold the kids in their arms. The water stops flowing. The lights switch on and off.

A boy appears in the hallway and steps forward toward them. As he steps forward he jumps from youth to a grown man, crippled arms and monstrous face. 

Their mothers chair rushes down the stairs, their mother still in it. Sharon runs after her. The figure stops

"All together again", says Julius as he turns toward his mother, smiling. 

"You all have grown so nicely. My beautiful sisters. Are these my nieces how they've grown. They're older than I even was!"

The house trembles under their feet. 

"You haven't told them what you did to me did you? What you all did. What all my older sisters did to me!"

Tracy cries.

"Shut up!"

In fact let me show you how it felt being tormented as you grew into such lovely women. 

 

The basement door flies open. Tracy and Brianna are dragged on the ground into the basement. Julius grabs Sharon, launching her into the basement staircase. The door slams shut, door knob locked. They bang on the door. It doesn't budge. Julius stands in front of their children, his nieces. A monstrous smile over his face as his mother watches on.

To be continued.....

2015 Lessons learned, and what to look forward to for 2016

I've learned a lot like anyone else in 2015. I stuck with my one new years resolution: Trust my gut instinct and gained a lot of dividends. Now it's time to to look back as well as look ahead.

My main goals is to become better with scheduling and regaining my patience and learning when to be patient and when to make things happen.

As 2015 went on my schedule became more intense and I had to learn how to pace myself as well as scheduling things out to be more productive, something I'm still trying to learn now. I have lots of things I want to complete for this coming year and I know the best way to accomplish everything is proper planning. It's not just me, its my entire team working and we need to be on the same page. I cannot succeed without my team succeeding with me. All great teams that won a ring had great players playing together. Not just one person playing lights out. 

I'm a visual person and bought a whiteboard to make a visual calendar for me to see everyday. I can make notes in my phone but whenever I write something physically I'm going to remember it better than just typing and putting it away, call me old fashioned.

My main focus is learning the switch from being patient and having to make things happen. I've gotten a tad antsy, and part of that is living in this microwave society. I want to do so much I have to catch myself and understand my process. 

"If you rush too much you might not get where you're going" - Big Sean

"There's Beauty in the struggle" - J. Cole

 

There are times I need to slow down and be patient. Let things come to me, focus and that time to think and be patient actually helps me get what I wanted/needed. A good example is if I'm filming and trying to figure out the best lighting. If I'm rushing I'm not thinking clearly and whatever I shoot can end up wack. If I sit back and think whatever I film will be a masterpiece.

You can take this logic and apply it to anything really. If you're getting to know a girl and you aren't patient you might come off as annoying or too abrasive. Being patient allows you to be more inviting and clears your mind for whatever task is at hand. 

The opposite side of that i knowing when to take charge. Being patient sometimes gets confused with being complacent. If you see your team dragging their ass it's time to flick the switch and make something happen. Back to the example of getting to know someone. If you are too patient you may become complacent and won't have a plan to take it a step forward.

For any dream or goals you have their will be a time where you must lead and take charge. I've learned a lot this past year and refuse to make the same mistakes. I've wasted a lot energy on people who won't reciprocate the same back. But it's a learning process. That good energy will come back somehow regardless. One of the best things I've learned this year is reading people. Their energies and responses. People's reactions will tell you more about them than anything in life. An optimistic person will find it hard to truly bash something they didn't like and a narcissist will find it hard to give compliments to things. People show you there hand fairly easy and it's a life long process to learn who's being genuine and who isn't.

The lightswitch from being patient and knowing to assert yourself is one of the single things that can make you great at what you do. It's like hopscotch, you have to know when to jump in and out. 

Patience will come and go, it's something that you constantly have to work on to keep. Your hardest times come before you achieve your goal. A video games toughest enemies are at the end right before you win. 

Drop a comment on what's something you're looking to focus on this coming year. Most new years resolutions can be wack but whether you complete them is entirely on you. Whatever you tell yourself constantly you'll end up making it a reality. We make our own reality on the daily.

 

This is a video I found myself coming back to throughout the year and I probably will continue to come back to it when needed. Major props to Eric Oleka for sending me this earlier in the year, helped more than you know. 

2.24.15 D A R K S K Y P A R A D I S E PreOrder: http://smarturl.it/DarkSkyParadiseD http://uknowbigsean.com


Final week before Production

*Welcome! This is the second entry to a weekly series of upcoming posts written about our upcoming web series "Shadows" and different aspects involved in pre-production, production and post production, written by Hussain Al-Khalil*

Last week before we start filming this coming Sunday. I haven't been this excited in a long time. This past Sunday was a great meeting. Touched base with everyone on their focus of the project. The 14th, Sunday is our first day of production. Everything is falling into place. We haev all the locations secured, the prop list is taken care of and scheduling is smooth. 

One thing I've been preparing myself for this past month is Ramadan. As you could assume because of my name I am Muslim. For those that aren't aware Ramadan is the holy month where Muslims around the world fast as well as much more. I wouldn't allow myself to exclude myself from Ramadan but also believe I can go through the filming pacing myself. I've never had to film an extended project while fasting so this will be new for me but I look forward to the challenge. Filming would be a few days a week only for the web series so it'll be good first step to adjust. I won't slow myself too much though, hopefully that'll inspire others to keep pushing later in the days when everyone is tired. Can't let the guy who hasn't eaten anything all day out work you.  It's a blessing though if I do need to lean on my team I have a team around me strong enough to hold me. 

Four locations are involved in the first episode. We'll be shooting at three of them on Sunday and the last the Monday after. Wasn't able to get pictures from last meeting unfortunately but I'll try and take some throughout the week to post here on the blog page for you to see.  

(Shoutout to Michael Hooks for letting us use your place bro, it's much appreciated)

This last week has been all about preparation and also having my producers moving forward with securing everything for the next episode. It takes a lot of focus and passion to execute this. Last week I emphasized a lot on chasing your passion and trusting yourself. This week I'd like to focus on what else...but focus. 

Without focus you cannot succeed. Passion is natural emotions and focus is figuring out how to unleash it. Uncontrollable passion is great but there are times you have to focus and make sure you are executing 100%. Once you have focus everything else becomes clearer, you become more of a complete individual. 

I've had the title of Undefeated Losers in my head since my sophomore year of high school. At first it was just a catchy name but I've gotten older and continue to gain more experiences which put meaning behind it.

Being undefeated, that's how I see myself. That I can do anything I want as long as I put my everything into it. The biggest competition was myself to prove I can do what i believe I can do.

Being a Loser. Well, that's how the world sees you. Tell someone your dreams or goals, they will either shoot you down, or nod but secretly not believe in you. Question why knowing any reason you give them won't be enough to sway them. They won't understand your vision and doubt what you're doing. Doubt you'll be anything but a Loser.

Undefeated Losers: How I see myself and how the world tries to see you.

I could've just wrote that but last time I checked words were still free.

One last thing. Any ideas or dreams you have and feel the need to tell people. Use reverse psychology on yourself. Don't mention them. Not to everyone at least. Cause someone will try and shoot your dreams down. They can't shoot them down if they don't know them. Evaluate who you're talking to before you speak to them to save yourself the stress. 

That's it for this week. Sunday or Monday I'll upload pictures from on set and maybe even a clip just for you :)

Next week I'll update you on filming and video editing. 

 

If you have anything you'd like me to touch upon throughout these weekly articles leave it in the comments below or send it through a email on our 'Contact Us' page

'Shadows' Web Series Production Diary #1

*Welcome! This is the first entry to a weekly series of upcoming posts written about our upcoming web series "Shadows" and different aspects involved in pre-production, production and post production, written by Hussain Al-Khalil*

First team meet up was this past Sunday (May 31st, 2015). I got to say, it felt great. Everyone enjoys the story and are really engaged. I've been writing a lot of projects the past few years and this one seems to be the one to get going first out of them. 

Shadows is a mystery horror story that follows a young woman who meets a Private Investigator to assist her finding her sister which leads them through some dark and strange turns. 

I think horror as a genre can give a filmmaker so much freedom to tell a story and I've really enjoyed and grown to love the genre even more now as I write my own stories. 

I was blessed enough to have already had a team behind the camera and in front set up. I was working on another project that ended up stalling and I really wanted to shoot a longer length story this summer. I picked up the web series and reread what I wrote and immediately pitched the idea to my team. Luckily, they loved what they read and we set fourth on this web series. So far all but one location is taken care of. I really tried writing the script around things I knew I could get access to (friends apartments and different parks and woods I can shoot in for free) and also stretch and get locations I'd need for the story teaching me and my team more on securing locations.

As happy and excited as I am we gotta stay focused. I've come to notice just through life that everyone you know has an awesome, spectacular million dollar idea. Then you end up finding out why it didn't come to fruition or why it didn't come out the way they saw it. Everyone has a million dollar idea, but not everyone has a million dollar work ethic. 

In order to get this project done the best way everyone has to be on the same page, putting their all in it. That's the typical thing to say but doing those two things make everything else so much easier. I feel blessed to have a team around me willing to do that. I've worked and tried doing things on my own and that's ok to learn and teach yourself but I'd rather do things as a group. My group is small but it's the perfect number in my opinion. Everyone has there specialty, and can communicate well but small enough so that when we have to move and make things happen all that happens quickly.

This week we're continuing finding extras for the later episodes and finalizing some other locations to film in. I really want to see what the actors have to tell me about their characters and what they feel they want to bring to the character. I may write a character but that actor is going to be bringing life into that person, making them their own. It's a great way of seeing who is more engaged and who you may need to focus on when filming. 

I chose to do a web series because I noticed my best scripts are feature length, but this day and age a short film on the internet will get you more immediate attention but, you have to appease that small attention span people have on the internet. So what would work best? A web series. I can make a long form story but cut it into separate episodes so that it is more digestible for viewers and if you want to watch the entire thing you can. I met two of my leads, Kristin and Rayvon, on another short film I was working on as the crew and the third, Anthony, was referred to me by my producer. I worked a little with Kristin and Ray last year and I loved them both as friends and colleagues. 

This project is the best example of creating your own opportunity in life. Whether you're a creative or  not, nowadays you can truly make anything happen, you just need patience work ethic and a plan.

Anything in your life is gonna be hard to do, you might as well have a few hard times doing what you love then having some hard times doing something you wouldn't give a fuck about. I used to play football and I find myself either motivating myself or someone else a lot, and I thank a lot of that toward me working hard as a leader in football. That was the inception. When you were consummated and "made" for lack of a better term, a minimum of 40 billion to a billion sperm were released. Out of all those you were the one to make it. So you had a 1 in 40 million to a billion chance of you being you (the way you look, behave etc). How many things in your life are gonna have a 1 in 40 million chance of happening? You've already completed one of the hardest things possible. I'm rambling but it's my diary, dammit. That was to motivate you to do what you love. Do what you have to do to make that happen for yourself.

Next meet is this Sunday (June 7th 2015) to continue working and the 13th we start production. 

I'll try and take a few pictures for the next post next week.